I definitely had a “grind” mentality as a ballplayer. It’s come to be one of my deepest regrets during my career.
I look back and wish I had a “flow” mentality instead. Occasionally, I wonder what I could have accomplished or how much longer I could have played if I had the latter approach instead.
Regardless if “flow” allowed my skills or performance to reach greater heights - which I believe it would have - I know for sure that it would have saved me the aches and sharp pains I feel in my joints today. Even more importantly, I know it would have saved me a lot of emotional angst through the journey and after it.
I was fertile ground to adopt the grinder approach in my youth. Born and raised in a land of insecurity, a place too small and where “nobody is good enough” to play professional sports, I thought I could “make it” if I worked harder than anybody.
It would be a belief that would guide me to success, but also limit what I would eventually go on to accomplish.
I wasn’t just a grinder, I was a “wisher” as well. I wished that I could let go of my at-bats from the day before. I wished I felt less worried about tonight’s. I wished I could take it easier on my body and trust that I didn’t need as many swings today or to physically do so much to feel like I was prepared. Basically, I had a sense I was in the wrong but didn’t have the courage to change it at the time.
It would be five years after my career before I really saw the light. I just laughed out loud, realizing the unintentional ambiguity of that statement, for it was Sarah - who I refer to as my Light - who showed me the light of detachment and going with the flow.
Always the sage, even early in our relationship, she rolled her eyes at me the first time I shared my “grinder” approach to baseball and life. After her eyes returned to their sockets, she simply stated, “Eventually, you grind things into oblivion.”
Yup, that’s pretty much how I had felt by the end of my career. Totally gone.
Ironically, I’ve always been incredibly in tune with my body. And somewhat with my emotions. In the gym lifting weights or on a field running sprints, I’ve never needed a program to follow - and likely would suffer if I followed one.
I know exactly when I’ve moved the needle forward each day to reach my goal - whether for speed, strength, power, or size. I almost always have a sense of the exact moment the next set or the next rep will have a negative effect on me.
Yet, too often, especially mentally - with my thoughts of the game - or with my skill/mechanics work, I would override those cues and go too far with my efforts.
During my career, I never was aware of the magnitude or importance of balance. I went too far, too often, and created dis-ease in my mind and body. I’d hit walls midway through seasons, and likely created an early exit in my career. I was a victim of fear and the need to control any and everything.
As a coach, I feel like you’re always teaching one of two entirely different things: what you believed you did right, and what you believe are the remedies to what you did wrong. I may have been a master of balance, rhythm, and timing in the batter’s box - but I was in an oblivious state with BRT in terms of my overall career.
I needed more balance and more flow with my long-term approach to the game. The grind helped me in the short term, but I have no doubts it restricted who I ultimately became and how much I enjoyed myself along the way.
With the boys and the other ballplayers I mentor now, I often use the analogy of taking care of houseplants. They require constant tending - much like a ballplayer - they need sunlight and water each day. But too much of either has a negative and destructive impact.
Baseball is a long journey. It’s a spiritual one to boot. You can’t push or force. You can’t control it. You can’t be afraid. Grinding will lead you to oblivion.
It’s far better from my perspective to learn to flow. To learn to accept. To let go. To allow things to unfold in nature’s or God’s greater timing.
Practice the arts of detachment, patience, and trust.
Seek to water daily, but seek to water not too little nor too much.
Until Next Time,
Keep Swinging.
- JB